It was my parents or Sunday school teachers, probably both, who told me when I was a child that God watched every single thing I did. He not only saw every move I made, I was told, but He heard every word I said and knew my every thought—even the unspoken ones. Talk about trying to put a little girl on the straight and narrow.
Those adults, who helped shape the person I would become, had not only a short-term impact on me—while far from perfect, I’ve managed to stay on the straight and narrow—but their words continue to influence my life today.
That lesson taught to me as a child—that God is always aware of me—has stayed with me. I always sense God’s presence, in varying degrees depending on how much I’m paying attention to God’s guiding hand or how well I am listening to His voice, which is ever present but sometimes hard for me to decipher. I especially sense God’s presence when I am driving. My car is about the only place where I have quiet time alone. With a husband, four stepchildren, and a busy job, I find that it is in the confines of my vehicle, on my commute to and from work each weekday, that I have an opportunity to ruminate, to knock about thoughts in this ol' noggin' of mine. It's at those times, when I don’t have the distractions of people or TVs or children’s video games that I am especially aware of God being with me. I don't imagine Him sitting next to me in the passenger seat or sitting in the back seat whispering advice in my ear. It is more like God's presence being inside of me, being part of my soul. As I drive, I sometimes have conversations with God without uttering a word out loud. I will have these talks quietly in my mind, and I feel God is in my mind too, listening and giving me feedback.
God is so much a part of my inner thinking, it is as if He has permeated the most basic but vital parts of me—He is in my cells, in the tissue of my heart muscle, in the blood pulsing through my veins and arteries. I am very comfortable with this, as comfortable as I am breathing in and breathing out.
You might think that someone as connected to God as I am would have answers to a lot of questions. No, I'm afraid not. I don't think I am the best listener when it comes to God, and I am certainly not the most patient in terms of waiting for God to answer my questions. But He is there. I know this.
On those rare occasions when I meet or read of someone who doesn't believe in God, I find it impossible to comprehend the concept. If God is not a part of you, who do you turn to in need? We can offer ourselves and others only so much comfort and guidance. What do you do for the big things? When you’ve lost loved ones, for example? That is the first thing that comes to my mind when thinking about those who claim not to believe in God. I have cried myself to sleep after the loss of a loved one, pleading with God to ease my sorrow. God is there to wipe away my tears. Not literally, of course. But it is knowing that God is there, sensing that His spirit is present, watching over me, listening to me, never leaving my side—that is what carries me through each day.
I leave you with 1 John 3:19—This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. - Kim Paras
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