Maybe God doesn’t mind. But I mind. At some point in my life of prayer, my prayers—my conversations with God—have lost the respect and reverence toward God that I feel they should have. I’m ashamed to admit it, but many times I have prayed without paying much attention to what I was saying. The words I was turning over in my mind or saying aloud were routine. Part of my brain would be talking to God, and another part would be thinking about what I needed to do next—household chores, work, phone calls.
I have fallen victim to how our society can be—hurried, distracted, in a rush. I feel that I rush to get ready in the morning, rush to the office, work all day but leave feeling like I didn’t get it all done, then rush home to eat dinner, wash dishes, do chores, then catch some shut-eye before doing it all over again the next day. I suspect many of you can relate.
I need to slow down. If God were sitting in front of me, if He were visible in a human form, listening intently to me, there is no way I would rush my time spent talking to Him. If I were sitting across from God, me talking to Him, I wouldn’t dare be so disrespectful as to quickly go over my concerns and then finish the conversation with a quick "amen."
The thing is, God is in front of me. He does intently listen to my prayers. He always has and always will. When I pray to him, I want to have reverence and respect and awe—the awe of speaking to the God Almighty, the creator of all, and knowing that He is listening to me. I want to pray with more faith, the faith that the prophets of the Old Testament had. The faith of the apostles, who worked and lived with Jesus, and then who went on to spread His word after Jesus ascended into heaven. The faith of Jesus, who when he prayed to God, always spoke as a son, a child, who loved and trusted his father more than words can say.
That sort of faithful, heartfelt prayer will take effort on my part. And I will need to remember to stop my rushing about, and to take a deep breath and pray more slowly, more thoughtfully.
I leave you with Jeremiah 29:12-13—Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
—Kim Paras
July 2010
